Title: If I Fall
Author: Anna Cruise
Publication Date: 6th April 2013
Publisher: Mission Bay Publishing
Genre: Young Adult
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Meg Calloway is at the edge.
Reeling from her parents' sudden divorce, fifteen-year old Meg has never felt more alone. Her father is about to marry a woman she can't stand and her mother's only companion is an endless supply of alcohol. When Aidan Westwood, an older boy at school, shows interest in her, she grabs on and doesn't let go, thinking he's exactly what she needs to help stem her loneliness and despair. She quickly learns that Aidan lives a darker, more dangerous life than she does and the more isolated she feels from her family, the more willing she is to step into Aidan's world.
As Meg drifts further from her friends, she tries to find comfort with a boy who is opening her eyes up to new things, none of them good. Will she listen to those around her who are warning her that she's headed down a path of self-destruction?
Or will she fall too far...too fast...too deep
My Review
Wow.
I'm not sure I want to review this book at the time being. I'm still processing what happened in the book.
Okay.... maybe I over exaggerating a little bit but, this is a great book! Albeit, it is very different to other YA Romance books.
It starts off like some other teenage books when the dad leaves the mum and goes off into the sunset with his new beautiful woman who is a tad bit younger that he is... and the daughter (Meg) is absolutely furious. Her mother is not taking it well and is drinking herself to death. 15 year old Meg has to fend for herself most of the time when her mum is drunk and out of her mind in the bedroom. This results in Meg just feeling unwanted and alone even though she has a few friends.
Then, she meets Aidan. Older, bad boy... I seriously don't get why people like bad boys to be honest. I mean, obviously you don't want a guy who is totally good- then he'll just be a clingy puppy but bad boys... in real life they are just jerks and assholes because they are a bad boy. I think that loads of books kinda has influenced our minds to like bad boys because in nearly Every Single Story, the bad boy becomes good for the girl but he still has that edge. However, in reality... is that true?
The thing I liked about this book was that it was totally realistic. The bad boy doesn't turn good for the girl. He's just 100% pure jerk. Unfortunately, he's also a jerk with a brain, therefore he knows what to say to make Meg feel wanted. When she wants to be loved- he'll say that he loves her. When she feels ugly- he'll make feel sexy by making comments or something else.... That just leads to her depending on him for acceptance and compliments. Relying on him all the time also, makes her distance from her friends.
She falls into the world of partying, drinks and drugs.... Not good
What I've forgotten to mention is that there was a new boy that was introduced early in the book. Name was Case. I think that is short something but it didn't say.... Anyways, he's good friends with Meg and also Meg's "ex" friends. He doesn't judge her and seems to understand what she is going through. I think that he didn't have enough presence in her life until the end however, he was always watching from afar .... not in a stalker-ish way of course but like a guardian angel... yeah.
So, Meg's life is spiralling out of control. She hates her dad and stepmum. Aidan is like her drug who is definitely not good for her. Case is kind of like her rehab. There is also Sara, her aunt (her mum's sister) who the parent for Meg when no one else is there.
From the start to the middle, I was confused if I should like Aidan. If he was going to turn good for her like other books. Hating her dad was a definite for me until the middle/end. Very complex characters.
I absolutely loved this book. It was kind of dark but also sweet. I highly recommend it to other teenagers like me. It also raises awareness about the dangers drinking and drugs.
Excerpt
“All I'm saying is I think you deserve better,” Case said. “From my point of view, anyway. You deserve better.”
I threw my head back on the sofa and laughed. It was a harsh laugh with no mirth. “Most of the time, I don't think I deserve better.”
“Everyone deserves better.”
“Not me.” I didn't look at him. “No one else would want me. I've royally fucked up. Everything. There isn't anything better out there. Anything or anyone.”
“Yeah, there is.”
“Oh, really?” I brought my eyes back to him. “And where exactly would I find better?”
It was quiet for a moment. Then he said, “Well, you might start with me.”
My eyes widened. "With you?"
His cheeks flushed just a bit. “You don't have to sound so surprised.”
I immediately felt bad. “That's not what I meant. Sorry.”
He laughed. “It's fine. I'm kidding. About you being surprised. Not about being better.”
“Well how would I know you were better?” I said. “It's not like you've ever asked me out.”
He thought about this for a minute. “So if I asked you out, you'd go?”
I honestly had no idea where the conversation was headed. He was confusing me like crazy and I wasn't sure what to say to him. I thought maybe he was just screwing around with me.
“Yeah, I would,” I said, calling his bluff.
“What about Aidan?” he asked.
“What about him?” I said, shrugging. “You just pointed out all the reasons I shouldn't be with him. Maybe you're right and I've just been too dumb to see it.”
I didn't know if I believed what I was saying but it felt like the truth was on the wall, some message that everyone had deciphered but me. And I was going to try my hardest to translate it, however I could.
He stared at me for a long time. I didn't say anything, just stared into those eyes that were always friendly, always honest.
About the Author
Anna Cruise has been writing -- and drooling over boys -- since middle school. Lots of years have passed but some things never change...
Her books include the best-seller IT WAS YOU (New Adult), IF I FALL (Mature YA) and MAVERICK (New Adult). Additional titles releasing in 2013 will include a follow-up to Abby and West's story from IT WAS YOU.
Anna loves to hear from readers and authors. Email her at authorannacruise@gmail.com. You can also like her Facebook page, find her on Twitter @AnnaCruiseBooks or friend her on Goodreads.
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